Comments on: How to lend money http://universalis.wordpress.com/2007/01/20/how-to-lend-money/ The Liturgy of the Hours, the Mass, and other things. Sat, 19 Jul 2008 11:22:10 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=MU By: Emily http://universalis.wordpress.com/2007/01/20/how-to-lend-money/#comment-5847 Emily Thu, 29 May 2008 23:40:07 +0000 http://universalis.wordpress.com/2007/01/20/how-to-lend-money/#comment-5847 In my extended family there are some who have trouble managing debt. These are ideas for helping such a person from my parent's example. DO NOT lend them money, if you know they have trouble with other debt. There is too good a chance that guilt and resentment will poison the relationship when this debt is also mismanaged. Better to freely give (particularly if it can be in the form of christmas or birthday money) then to lend in such circumstances. DO be careful about bailing them out, it is very easy to end up supporting their financial mismanagement. Sometimes it is truly more loving in the long run to not bail someone out. DO consider possible means of non-monetary support that you can provide even if you can't afford to give or find it unwise to give freely (while still fulfilling your family duties) - my parents have offered house room, babysat, given food and clothing .... It may be more annoying and troublesome to provide room and board to someone who can no longer afford rent and food due to financial mismanagement, so that they can pay back their debts themselves but it may be the wiser course in some cases. In my extended family there are some who have trouble managing debt. These are ideas for helping such a person from my parent’s example.

DO NOT lend them money, if you know they have trouble with other debt. There is too good a chance that guilt and resentment will poison the relationship when this debt is also mismanaged. Better to freely give (particularly if it can be in the form of christmas or birthday money) then to lend in such circumstances.

DO be careful about bailing them out, it is very easy to end up supporting their financial mismanagement. Sometimes it is truly more loving in the long run to not bail someone out.

DO consider possible means of non-monetary support that you can provide even if you can’t afford to give or find it unwise to give freely (while still fulfilling your family duties) - my parents have offered house room, babysat, given food and clothing ….

It may be more annoying and troublesome to provide room and board to someone who can no longer afford rent and food due to financial mismanagement, so that they can pay back their debts themselves but it may be the wiser course in some cases.

]]> By: Joy http://universalis.wordpress.com/2007/01/20/how-to-lend-money/#comment-5796 Joy Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:53:20 +0000 http://universalis.wordpress.com/2007/01/20/how-to-lend-money/#comment-5796 Lending has proved difficult for me. I am a helper type but have sometimes been hurt. When approached for a loan I now just declare to the person in need that I would rather make it a gift. If it's not too large an amount, $300 or under, I just give it. If the borrower actually needs a very large amount I have loaned it at fair interest. I actually gave the borrower a copy of my account statement as of the withdrawal date, with the balance and the account number blacked out, to show that I did not get the money off a tree but from the account where I keep money to pay my own bills. As for lending to children, I am guilty of forgiving my kids their debts almost immediately after the loan is made, even after stressing to them and to myself that this is only a loan. My own Mom was a reliable bank who set up a reasonable return date but did not charge interest. Her method was simple. If you paid her back then she would lend again and again. If you didn't pay her back, even a small amount, then she wouldn't lend again. She was a faithful, devout Catholic, and she had no qualms about protecting her property and being sure she didn't let anyone be a thief or a liar with her money. Lending has proved difficult for me. I am a helper type but have sometimes been hurt. When approached for a loan I now just declare to the person in need that I would rather make it a gift. If it’s not too large an amount, $300 or under, I just give it. If the borrower actually needs a very large amount I have loaned it at fair interest. I actually gave the borrower a copy of my account statement as of the withdrawal date, with the balance and the account number blacked out, to show that I did not get the money off a tree but from the account where I keep money to pay my own bills. As for lending to children, I am guilty of forgiving my kids their debts almost immediately after the loan is made, even after stressing to them and to myself that this is only a loan. My own Mom was a reliable bank who set up a reasonable return date but did not charge interest. Her method was simple. If you paid her back then she would lend again and again. If you didn’t pay her back, even a small amount, then she wouldn’t lend again. She was a faithful, devout Catholic, and she had no qualms about protecting her property and being sure she didn’t let anyone be a thief or a liar with her money.

]]> By: Tom http://universalis.wordpress.com/2007/01/20/how-to-lend-money/#comment-5754 Tom Sun, 03 Feb 2008 12:49:14 +0000 http://universalis.wordpress.com/2007/01/20/how-to-lend-money/#comment-5754 What wonderful comments brimming with wisdom. For my part, like many of you, I don't loan money, I give it as I am able. I do this in response to the rich blessings of the Lord. I'm certain I have given money to those who had wants rather than needs; to those who were unworthy, to some who were not using their own resources wisely. So what? While I was lost in sin, God loved me and gave his son for me. I am charged to love, and one way of loving someone is to give. And occasionally someone surprises me and gives back unasked, and we are both blessed. What wonderful comments brimming with wisdom. For my part, like many of you, I don’t loan money, I give it as I am able. I do this in response to the rich blessings of the Lord. I’m certain I have given money to those who had wants rather than needs; to those who were unworthy, to some who were not using their own resources wisely. So what? While I was lost in sin, God loved me and gave his son for me. I am charged to love, and one way of loving someone is to give. And occasionally someone surprises me and gives back unasked, and we are both blessed.

]]> By: mike http://universalis.wordpress.com/2007/01/20/how-to-lend-money/#comment-5172 mike Sat, 08 Dec 2007 22:46:01 +0000 http://universalis.wordpress.com/2007/01/20/how-to-lend-money/#comment-5172 I agree with Gem (June 10th)It is so much more comfortable to meet some-one you'given The Lord's money to pass on,then some-one who is overdue on a loan. I agree with Gem (June 10th)It is so much more comfortable to meet some-one you’given The Lord’s money to pass on,then some-one who is overdue on a loan.

]]> By: Sharan http://universalis.wordpress.com/2007/01/20/how-to-lend-money/#comment-4390 Sharan Fri, 07 Sep 2007 05:53:49 +0000 http://universalis.wordpress.com/2007/01/20/how-to-lend-money/#comment-4390 I, too, want to read Peter's story but the link given doesn't work. Thanks to all of you for your posts; they have helped me immensely in deciding what to do with a problem I have been having. God bless you! I, too, want to read Peter’s story but the link given doesn’t work.
Thanks to all of you for your posts; they have helped me immensely in deciding what to do with a problem I have been having. God bless you!

]]> By: Anne http://universalis.wordpress.com/2007/01/20/how-to-lend-money/#comment-4372 Anne Tue, 04 Sep 2007 22:57:46 +0000 http://universalis.wordpress.com/2007/01/20/how-to-lend-money/#comment-4372 Peter Says: February 27th, 2007 at 9:47 pm I enjoyed the beautiful stories of faith in action outlined above. It reminded me of a blog entry I made a while back (which also reminds me to do some more posting). Much less was at stake but maybe you’ll find it interesting nonetheless… http://uahomily.blogspot.com/2005_10_01_uahomily_archive.html Sorry. I would have loved to have read Peter's story but I could not reach the link. It was apparently out of date. Please advise. Anne Peter Says:
February 27th, 2007 at 9:47 pm
I enjoyed the beautiful stories of faith in action outlined above. It reminded me of a blog entry I made a while back (which also reminds me to do some more posting). Much less was at stake but maybe you’ll find it interesting nonetheless…

http://uahomily.blogspot.com/2005_10_01_uahomily_archive.html

Sorry. I would have loved to have read Peter’s story but I could not reach the link. It was apparently out of date.
Please advise.
Anne

]]> By: Janet http://universalis.wordpress.com/2007/01/20/how-to-lend-money/#comment-4039 Janet Sun, 19 Aug 2007 14:54:25 +0000 http://universalis.wordpress.com/2007/01/20/how-to-lend-money/#comment-4039 One has to discern when they loan money with "no strings attached", whether the money is for a real need or a want. Our children call things that they want, "needs". We don't just give, give, give to friends and family unless it is a "need". Some of us are users and some are enablers. If you have the money and you want to help someone, do it but like I suggested, discern first. We never had much money when our children were growing up. We taught our children love for one another. When they did grow up, they helped each other financially, as needed, giving it as a gift. This set both the giver and the taker free from worry. They have made their parents extremely happy to see that all of the work(teaching them about God), play and prayers for our children has paid off. Our God is an awesome God! One has to discern when they loan money with “no strings attached”, whether the money is for a real need or a want. Our children call things that they want, “needs”. We don’t just give, give, give to friends and family unless it is a “need”. Some of us are users and some are enablers. If you have the money and you want to help someone, do it but like I suggested, discern first. We never had much money when our children were growing up. We taught our children love for one another. When they did grow up, they helped each other financially, as needed, giving it as a gift. This set both the giver and the taker free from worry. They have made their parents extremely happy to see that all of the work(teaching them about God), play and prayers for our children has paid off. Our God is an awesome God!

]]> By: Stephen http://universalis.wordpress.com/2007/01/20/how-to-lend-money/#comment-3154 Stephen Tue, 03 Jul 2007 13:48:29 +0000 http://universalis.wordpress.com/2007/01/20/how-to-lend-money/#comment-3154 Elvira, As for teaching children, example is always the best teacher I think. Not bragging or making a show but always prudently extending the hand. Children learn what is important from us, the 'first and best teachers'. If we show confusion about the importance of mone or how it should be handled then they will pick up on that confusion. Be explicit and repeat it often: Money is only important in the way we use it. Helping them to understand what is a waste of money versus what is the good use of money but the way we use money will give the lessons you seek to impart. Prudence is an important lesson, but we must also see in the lesson of St. Francis that we cannot judge how our children come to understand their attachment to money and material things! I found that once my kids came to understand what value money had in terms of what they want and need, they came to understand how to give it away as well. Ahh but I ramble without a lot of substantive help. Fall back on the example thing! Elvira,
As for teaching children, example is always the best teacher I think. Not bragging or making a show but always prudently extending the hand. Children learn what is important from us, the ‘first and best teachers’. If we show confusion about the importance of mone or how it should be handled then they will pick up on that confusion. Be explicit and repeat it often: Money is only important in the way we use it. Helping them to understand what is a waste of money versus what is the good use of money but the way we use money will give the lessons you seek to impart. Prudence is an important lesson, but we must also see in the lesson of St. Francis that we cannot judge how our children come to understand their attachment to money and material things! I found that once my kids came to understand what value money had in terms of what they want and need, they came to understand how to give it away as well. Ahh but I ramble without a lot of substantive help. Fall back on the example thing!

]]> By: HELEN http://universalis.wordpress.com/2007/01/20/how-to-lend-money/#comment-3144 HELEN Mon, 02 Jul 2007 09:06:29 +0000 http://universalis.wordpress.com/2007/01/20/how-to-lend-money/#comment-3144 Hi to all, i have read a lot of your comments with interest. It seems to me that most agree that we should give and not count the cost. I think we all came into this world with nothing, and all that we have is god given. We would be and would have nothing without the love of god through his son Jesus Christ. I think what ever we have god has given us to use wisely and to share freely. so nothing is owed and all debts are paid for what is money. it will melt and burn and disappear, but our love for god and for each other will live for an eternity and be our true ticket to salvation. So forget material things, if you have it and someone else needs it give it to him or her, don't ask for it back. God does not give his love then take it back. He didn't send manna from heaven then say to the people, " ten pounds please, no credit" He gives us what we need if we ask him, we should follow our fathers example and give to or brothers and sisters when they ask us Hi to all, i have read a lot of your comments with interest. It seems to me that most agree that we should give and not count the cost.

I think we all came into this world with nothing, and all that we have is god given.

We would be and would have nothing without the love of god through his son Jesus Christ.

I think what ever we have god has given us to use wisely and to share freely.

so nothing is owed and all debts are paid for what is money. it will melt and burn and disappear, but our love for god and for each other will live for an eternity and be our true
ticket to salvation. So forget material things, if you have it and someone else needs it give it to him or her, don’t ask for it back. God does not give his love then take it back. He didn’t send manna from heaven then say to the people, ” ten pounds please, no credit”
He gives us what we need if we ask him, we should follow our fathers example and give to or brothers and sisters when they ask us

]]> By: Chris http://universalis.wordpress.com/2007/01/20/how-to-lend-money/#comment-3039 Chris Wed, 20 Jun 2007 02:48:05 +0000 http://universalis.wordpress.com/2007/01/20/how-to-lend-money/#comment-3039 What a question! Maybe each circumstance would be different. I am now trying to teach mine the concept of money first. And then perhaps the loaning. But I come from a large family where most things were owned in common including socks. Still respecting personal belongings is an issue, as this is one way we express respect for the individual. A very important issue these days. So after we teach them to respect others by respecting their belongings, perhaps we should teach them next to trust a little, by sharing their earthly goods and money easily with friends and loved ones, and with the church, their time too. But teach them fairness and good sense in all things of course, otherwise we might be liable to God for carelessness. Look to peoples needs first and build from there, perhaps. What a question! Maybe each circumstance would be different. I am now trying to teach mine the concept of money first. And then perhaps the loaning. But I come from a large family where most things were owned in common including socks. Still respecting personal belongings is an issue, as this is one way we express respect for the individual. A very important issue these days.
So after we teach them to respect others by respecting their belongings, perhaps we should teach them next to trust a little, by sharing their earthly goods and money easily with friends and loved ones, and with the church, their time too. But teach them fairness and good sense in all things of course, otherwise we might be liable to God for carelessness. Look to peoples needs first and build from there, perhaps.

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